Musings On Being A Man

This month's Esquire magazine features a ream of suggestions for being a man - lots of how to's and must haves.  And while captivating, because I picked it up, I haven't actually read any of the copy.  My inner monologue is telling me that I'm done being told how to be a man, or what would make me a better man.  Not a great place to be in as a counselor who works with men.  What has me closed to Esquire is not the content but the context.  I realize what I am missing and longing for in my life now is the presence of men, much older than myself who I can observe being authentic, rather than a cold, paper magazine and black & white words.

I'm at a place where I can notice my judgements and reactions and choose to either feed them or starve them; I'm also relatively aware of my actions and behaviours and know whether they originate from a loving or fearful place.  I'm also enjoying being with myself as I challenge and grow; especially in the painful and difficult margins of my self where no light has shone for quite some time.  That said, I notice what is missing is the certainty which I see in men who are well into their "Senior" years.  

I see these men embrace their vulnerabilities and fears with grace and I witness them appreciate slow walks, long sits on a bench by the lake, and the reassuring touch of a partner they have known for most of their lives.  It is in their presence that I feel the edge of my youth most sharply.  Like a serrated blade I still seek to penetrate the world with my presence rather than be enfolded by the presence of the world.  I'm still hungry and not sure quite sure what will fill my belly.  

To ache for something that I can witness tangibly yet have no inner sense of is curiously maddening.

Perhaps that is one of the eternal riddles of life and living. 

Here are some other musings:

Dr. Paul Ekman is worth checking out for his work in unraveling the ego's impact on our bodies.

Art Horn is a genius as he discusses the ego's impact on leadership and how to lead without ego

Stuart Knight is my new co-host of GuyTalk on NewsTalk 1010 CFRB - and he is a firecracker!