Stifling What We Feel

A simple scenario really. One that I'm sure you know as well.

Man comes into a restaurant with his female partner and orders himself a glass of fresh squeezed cherry juice. By the look on his face and his body language, (rubbing his hands together with great zeal), he's really looking forward to sipping this just squeezed goodness. Suddenly, his partner picks up the glass and with it lightly touching her lips, says, "May I? I don't have any diseases." " Go ahead he replies, your diseases are my diseases." What he doesn't say is loudly communicated with his body: his eyes are wide with surprise, his nose is turned up in disgust and contempt; his body is rigid, shoulders back, hands clenched on the table; and his head is thrown back quickly taking in the ceiling, and then there's the sharp inhale before he speaks his words.

So much felt, so much not said. A few seconds in a life.

What prevents this man from sharing in the moment what he is genuinely feeling with his companion? What are the thoughts and beliefs and conditioned behaviours which have him stifle all of this rich communication from his partner? How could she ever know, or trust the truth about him?

I don't know - I can only speculate and empathize based on my own life. My awareness of myself I've gained from sitting in many groups of inspiring men who were also attempting to understand more about themselves. The Men's Program is the group lab in which a man's most important social learning happens. Through honest interactions with others like himself every man gains an inarguable body of knowledge about himself. This isn't the type of knowledge that is self-serving naval gazing - it's the information which changes a man's life forever replacing confusion with clarity and emotional impaction with free flowing honesty.

On Tuesday Feb. 1st, 2011, The Men's Program is opening up our circle to invite men who have never experienced a group and those who are Men's Program alumni to join us for an evening. Group begins at 7 p.m., please be sure to arrive by 6:45 p.m. Our location is 323 Kingston Road, lower level. There is ample parking on Kingston Road and on the surrounding streets.